5 Tips To Bounce Back After Pregnancy

As a mom, you're expected to love every part of being a mom. But the truth is not all parts of motherhood is as glamorous as one may think. As you may have already learned I lost 40+ lbs and immediately became pregnant after reaching my goal weight. ( yes I know, all that hard work to start all over again) So my main goal was to "snap back" immediately. Snap back culture not only sets unrealistic expectations for new moms, but it is also a dishonest and shallow narrative that only focuses on the physical aesthetic of postpartum life. Women are expected to view childbirth and healing like a quick store run and this is very detrimental on women’s self-esteem and overall mental health.

What most people do not realize is that bouncing back or "snapping back" is more than just physical aesthetic, it is about your mental well being also. It took me a year to realize I need to snap back mentally before I could snap back physically. Now this is not a cookie cutter process, so one shoe (pregnancy journey) will not fit all. Check out these healthy tips to bounce back after pregnancy.

1. Allow Yourself Time to Grieve Your Pre-Mom Life

It is normal that becoming a mother might make you lose your sense of self, but it doesn't mean your prenatal identity is gone forever. Remove yourself from any negative spaces (i.e. social media, friends or family) and take some time to mourn your pre-pregnancy life. Most women don’t talk about the grief they feel for the life they had before motherhood because the expectation is that it’s going to be the best thing that ever happened to us. Being the mother to my amazing son is in fact quite beautiful but motherhood is actually kind of ghetto.

One mistake I made during my postpartum journey was longing for my life to go back to exactly how it was before I had my baby. I wanted my body back, my time back, my relationship, my freedom, my social life and my mind. I was so stuck on what my life used to be it made it hard for me to accept how to improve the things I did not like about the new me. The truth is that we are faced with a variety of stressors that make it difficult to embrace and accept our postpartum bodies, including things that are not in our control.

2. Adjust Your Expectations

Having unrealistic expectations in motherhood can be a trigger for unnecessary feelings of guilt, shame or even depression. Releasing these expectations can help you make peace with where you’re at today. One thing I realized early on in my pregnancy was a lot of people were painting an unrealistic visual of motherhood and I immediately began to unsubscribe from them. It's a well know fact that people are not who they "post to be" but I felt betrayed and lied to once I became pregnant.

After getting married people were very pushy with the "you two should go ahead have babies narrative". Everyone explained/showcased motherhood and pregnancy as the best thing life could offer. Sadly that's just not true for everyone. No one and I mean no one has ever warned me about the not so beautiful parts of pregnancy or motherhood.

Whatever expectations you have set for yourself, it’s important to take an honest look at them and ask yourself how these will serve you. Do they make you feel worse about yourself because you feel like you’re falling short? If so, consider what it might feel like to adjust these expectations or let go of them altogether. Unfortunately your body doesn’t operate on your timeline or expectations and it needs space and time to be. You’ll find yourself constantly at war against your body if you feel as though your body can’t align with your own expectations.

3. Appreciate Your Body

Take a deep breath, you just created life. You devoted 9 months to birthing your very own human, surely you can give yourself a little time and grace to allow your body to adjust. I personally was so anxious to snap back that I was hurting myself trying to workout, and setting unrealistic expectations that resulted in me experiencing extreme depression.

One thing I realized was I spent so much time hating my mom-bod instead of appreciating the fact that I not only gave birth, but I survived it. It took me a while to come to this realization and now my mindset has changed completely. Now I wear clothes that compliment my new mom figure, most of these outfits consists of workout & lounge wear. I work out 3-4 times for at least 1 hr and 30 minutes a week and I have slowly created a eating plan that will benefit my fitness goals. I have been able to consistently work out but my eating has been one of the toughest challenges about my journey. I recently took a good look in the mirror and realized although my body is not where I would like it to be, I accept that I will never be my pre-pregnancy self again, and that’s okay. I have given myself permission to release that pressure has been freeing.

4. Detox From Social Media

We live in a time where social media rules the world. But often we forget social media is only a highlight reel of one's life or experiences. It is very seldom that other showcase their lows because "no one really cares." During the early postpartum stage, it might be easy to jump on social media and start scrolling, especially during those late night feeds. But this can get extremely discouraging. I remember seeing Keyshia Ka'oir 6 weeks postpartum image of her celebrating her birthday. I showed this image to someone as inspiration for my "snap back" journey and they pointed out that she had 2 ribs removed so I should give myself some grace, and focus on my own journey.

Taking a detox from social media can truly improve your mental well being. It doesn't have to be forever, but during a time when you might already be feeling vulnerable in your postpartum body, it’s helpful to be intentional with how you spend your time on social media, as well as the accounts you follow. Try unfollowing any accounts that promote toxic diet culture or anything that affects you negatively.

5. Build A Tribe of Like Minded People

I'm sure you've heard the term it takes a village to raise a child. Well it also takes a village to help a new mom. The best part of this journey has been my tribe/village. They have helped me in so many ways I honestly could not have made it through this process without them. Not only do I have amazing family to help me with my baby but I have amazing mommy friends who have help me navigate my motherhood as a millenial. I highly recommend mommy friends, moms just get it. With mom friends you have someone to vent to, they won't get upset if you need to cancel, they won't mom shame you and you can celebrate with them. My mom friends have certainly helped boost my confidence, educate me with motherhood tips and I truly enjoy our ladies night and girl's trips because sometimes you. just need a break.

If you're looking to bounce back after your pregnancy, be sure to start with your mind first. Your body has endured so many changes, so it will need time to heal. Studies have shown it takes at least 18 months for the body to fully recover from giving birth, so take your time and utilize these tips to help you along the way.